Week 35 Babies 2 weeks The warm-up before the race!

Snuggle time in the nursery

Sunday the babies are two weeks old...what? Yowza really??? What a roller coaster the last three weeks have been. As slow as my week of hospital bed rest went the last two weeks have been a time warp. I can't believe their progress and just cannot imagine what it would have been like to still be pregnant and in the hospital, if things had gone differently. We feel things worked out the way they were supposed to because Austin needed me at home and my body just couldn't handle the size of our growing babies. Speaking of body size, my recovery has gone fabulously. I have lost most of the 42 pounds and have around 10 pounds that will probably slowly linger. My waist has also shrunk incredibly, I am really in shock that my skin looks normal and I have one tiny tiny stretch mark by my belly button, man I really lucked out! Who's to say what might have occurred if I went to a further gestation. So anyway, back to the babies :) My mom came up so that Paul and I could go alone to be with the babies together for the first time since we were at the hospital. They both gained weight and are eating like champs. Paul bottle fed Kelsey my pumped milk and I nursed Logan. We snuggled with them and had a mini photo shoot of the babies cuddling together. It's only the 3rd time they have been next to each other, I am sure they miss each other very much and they seemed so content with their heads together. I really cannot wait to have them snuggle with each other at home. Paul and I then went to lunch alone which we cannot remember the last time we ate just the two of us and to be honest we aren't sure it will ever happen again lol. Later in the afternoon my mom and I returned and she held the babies for the first time, it was wonderful! So, all in all it was a very good baby day and with no tears!! I also pumped enough to feed both babies in one pump session, that was really exciting for me that my supply has gone up that much in just one week, I am producing double of what I was!!!

Monday  was an interesting day. For the second day in a row Kelsey would not nurse and I had to bottle feed her. Even Logan was not great and drank a bottle much better. I am starting to get freaked out that they are getting too used to bottle feeds. I am only able to go in and nurse once a day so they are not getting enough practice and I truly hope when they get home that they pick it back up because I really would not prefer to pump just to bottle feed. Our big news for the day is that Kelsey has finally surpassed her birth weight AND has broken into the 5 pound world!! Our growing little girl is being quickly chased by her brother which I am starting to think he is going to catch up and pass her very soon! I didn't get much cuddle time with them today because I had to spend all my visiting trying to get them to eat, I pray that tomorrow goes better so that I can just rock and hold them. My time everyday with them is so limited that its small things like this that mean so much to me and set me up for either a good day or a sad tear filled day. I am keeping my depression at a manageable level but I think it's just a given that moms with babies in NICU go through some kind of Postpartum Depression.

Tuesday Kelsey yet again did not want to nurse. I spoke with the lactation consultant and got some tips on getting her back in the groove which will likely go smoother once she gets home. Logan was a good boy and nursed on both sides again( lucky him). Logan also passed the car seat test as we are preparing for him to come home. We found out today that he would be going home tomorrow as long as he has a good night. I was given some prescriptions for him that I needed to fill for home use and we went home to cross our fingers, hope and pray. I installed a car seat base in each of our vehicles really hoping that I didn't jinx ourselves.

Wednesday morning came and I called the hospital right away to see if it was THE day! The nurse said he had a good night but we needed to wait for the doctor to make rounds before it was official! We took our time getting ready and once my cousin Katie arrived to watch Austin, we headed into the hospital. On our way in, we got the call that Logan is officially ready to come home and to make a pediatrician appointment for Friday to finalize the checklist for discharge. We fed Kelsey, ate lunch at the hospital (which has great food BTW) and then went over all the discharge guidelines. There sure are a lot of things you need to watch out for with preemie babies.
1. No being in public with the babies especially grocery and other stores because there are too many germs and chances to get RSV.
2. Take temperatures often to make sure they are warm enough which includes wearing 2.5 layers(hospital style wrap top, fleece jammies and a fleece halo sleeper)
3.Wake babies every 3 hours around the clock to feed a minimum of 40 ml. ( just over an ounce) even at night, no sleep for us :(
4.No extra visitors besides family and a few close friends and limit exposure to children.
5.Absolutely NO bouncy chairs and swings. They must lay flat at all times besides being held(Esophagus is not mature and airway can be pinched and cause suffocation. We have to wait until they are 10 pounds.)
6. No trips and long durations in the car for the above reasons of being in the car seat too long.
7. No naked photos until they gain an appropriate amount of weight to maintain temps.
8. No sleeping together, in order to lower the risk of SIDS they are to each sleep in their own cribs.
9. Parent vaccinations. We need and grandparents that will spend the most time with them need DTaP and the Flu shot.

Logan coming home

I know their are some more rules for preemies but you get the idea, we are on lockdown until they get older and that also means I won't be working for a long period of time in order to limit germs in our home.
After all was said and done we loaded Logan up and home we came!  The first night went fine because my adrenaline was flowing good and I got about 5 hours of broken sleep.
Austin did awesome meeting his new little brother. He had a huge smile to share and he handed over his beloved duckie blanket to Logan, it was very sweet and so cute that he would make such a gesture.

Austin meeting Logan

GiGi meeting Logan

Thursday the first day home with Logan! I had written out a schedule to follow in order to feed Logan and pump milk for Kelsey. It worked out well and I was able to go in and feed Kelsey at her usual 11:00 a.m. and take her milk while cousin Katie stayed home with Austin and Logan. We had a trickier nights sleep this night because I discovered that Logan is a great sleeper which makes nursing hard. I again got about 5 hours of sleep and in the morning I certainly could tell it was catching up to me. It eure is wonderful to have him home though!

napping with the boys

Friday morning Logan had his Dr. Appt. and we learned that he broke into the 5 pound world. Yay! I am doing my job right and feeding him a sufficient amount of milk each day. Also, aunt Michaele brought my Grandma Margaret and Great Aunt Rosie to meet the babies. Katie and Michaele stayed with Austin and Logan so we could go to the hospital and be with Kelsey. We had a very nice visit and lunch together! I discovered that the boys take a nap at the same time everyday so once our visitors went home I got a nap with them. Tonight I also got better sleep (7 broken hours) I learned to just pump at the night feeds and feed Logan bottles becuase it was more time efficient. I woke up feeling so much better and plan to stick with this until Kelsey comes home and we need to learn a new system. We think Austin realizes that Logan is staying for good. He always goes to his bed at night as if to say goodnight and again in the morning to say hello. He does say baby but more often says mwa mwa which is his baby cry sound meaning baby :)

The men of the family all together for the first time

We might have another thumb sucker, when he finds it, he loves it !

Saturday we were hoping that Kelsey would be coming home this weekend so we did some things to get ready, make her Dr. Appt. and she passed her car seat test. We had also switched to a different bottle (Dr. Browns) because they were having too much trouble with the large nipples on our Tommee Tippee bottles. The Dr. Browns are much better for preemies and they did wonderful. Logan and I had another pretty good night and I got about 6 hours of broken sleep. Up until this point I haven't had Paul help during the night except to attend to Austin if he isn't sleeping well. I can manage one baby, we are waiting for Kelsey to come home for him to be up with me at night. I also got another nap with the boys. Kelsey unfortunately had another spell during the evening so now we are looking at later in the next week...so sad she's not coming home but better she is in the hospital for now :(

Naked baby :)

Kelsey alone at the hospital

As you read this you will notice that the babies are now 3 weeks old but that will be in next weekends post as I have been documenting each week daily.

Week 34 Babies 1 week old "Graduation"

Logan and his drowsy self :)

We started off this week with yet another round of good news. On Monday the babies were upgraded to the Continuous Care Unit which is an extension of the NICU located next to the healthy baby nursery one floor upstairs. Mainly, the NICU is a very busy place and there was a flux of new babies who need lots more attention. Our babies are on the most stable end of the spectrum so they were moved to the nursery style room. They no longer need as much observation because they no longer have any IV's or tubes (Kelsey's feeding tube has been removed) or no extra monitoring. They are still on their heart monitors to make sure they catch any spells that they may be having. They will remain on those monitors until they are discharged. They are also in the final round of temperature stabilization before they go into the open-air tub cribs.

Kelsey is often awake when we visit

Tuesday they both had and passed their hearing tests and Logan's circumcision has been ordered for later in the week. I was able to speak with the doctor during his rounds and he thought they were on track to leave in a week if they can just kick those spells. He also confirmed that the mark on Kelsey's temple is also a Nevus. Both Austin and I have a Nevus on the same side of our heads as well. Mine happens to be in the exact same place as Kelsey's. We have not noticed any birthmarks on Logan as of now.

Kelsey in the open-air crib

Wednesday evening both babies were transferred to open air tub cribs for their next test. They need to maintain their body temperatures between 36-37 degrees Celsius for a minimum of 24 hours, let's hope they check this box off. Kelsey did have spells so the 5 day countdown has started over :/ I am afraid there are going to be many more disappointments when it comes to these spells but she is better off in the hospital, I won't be able to relax if I am worried about her breathing 24/7. This was a hard evening for me. I had been doing well being separated from my precious babies and hadn't cried since the night I left the hospital but I knew it couldn't last forever and I shed some tears wishing that I could spend the night holding them. They didn't nurse well this evening which probably caused the disconnect that I am feeling. It really is the worst punishment ever that I cannot drive myself to the hospital and I have to keep relying on rides let alone the task of always needing a babysitter for Austin.

Logan in the open-air crib

Thursday Grammy(Paul's mom) Uncle Jason( Paul's brother) and Aunt Mira came to visit and meet the twins all the way from Boston! They were very lucky because both kiddos decided that they would wake up and show off their pretty eyes. Kelsey is almost always awake so she was no surprise but the fact the Logan woke up was a even nice for Mommy and Daddy to see. Logan has officially surpassed his birth weight but Kelsey has about 3 ounces left to be back to her weight. Logan had his circumcision also and the nurses said he did great and didn't cry much.

Friday came with our very first step back. Most likely due to being outside and undressed for his circumcision, Logan's temperature dropped too low and he was placed back in the incubator for a couple of days along with this both babies had spells so we have to start our countdown all over again with the earliest discharge for Tuesday now. My poor little babies are just so young and not ready for the world. For the medically savvy the episodes that they are having are called Apnea of pre-maturity and Bradycardia if you would like to look it up and educate yourself. Both babies did eat well for me and I had a load of milk to drop off since I didn't get the chance to nurse on Thursday. Both babies lost their umbilical cord stubs too and now have cute little belly buttons. It has been another sad evening for me as the tears stream down my face as I write today's update entry.

Fast asleep after her feeding

Snuggle time with Logan before I left for the day 

Saturday not much has changed. Logan is still in the incubator for the time being since their is no rush to get him out and both babies had spells during the night. Countdown starts over again for Wednesday...ugh! It makes me feel like they are never coming home. Three babies left our room today and went home which drives the nail in harder that ours are not ready but I try to remember that they are doing really well besides the spells and I really do keep forgetting how premature they are. I have really adjusted to their small size and they just seem like normal babies to me when they really aren't :/

My milk supply is starting to stabilize due to the fact that my mature milk(a bit more watery than the transition milk I have had since last Wednesday) has finally come in. I had been having quite the range of amounts when pumping but as of now, I seem to be producing one feeding for only one baby from each pumping session. Yes, that means I am only producing enough for half of their feedings in a day. They receive formula (Similar Neosure-preemie formula) for the other half. My parents have been gracious enough to buy us lots of formula which is a tremendous help for when they do finally come home because it's unlikely my supply will ever reach full capacity to satisfy both. We have been instructed to give them each a minimum of two formula feeds a day (at home) because of their pre-maturity, it provides extra calories than my milk. Logan will need to stay on the Neosure until he is 6 months and Kelsey only for 3 months from their original due date, after that we can put them on a regular formula(cheaper). I plan to equally rotate the babies from breast to bottle that way each will get 4 breast feeds and 4 bottle feeds a day.

For those who are interested in what my daily schedule entails it's as follows. I wake up at 8:00 a.m. to pump. At 10:45 a.m. I get dropped off at the hospital (family and friends have been helping , I cannot drive for 4 weeks) they return home with Austin to watch him. I change, nurse and cuddle with Kelsey at 11:00 a.m. then the same with Logan at 12:00 p.m. My ride returns at 1:00 p.m. to take me home. I pump at 2:30 p.m. and take a nap while Austin naps to re-cooperate because I have weened myself off of the Oxycodone and only take the Motrin during the day if needed, I am still taking the Oxycodone once a night for good sleep for now. I pump again at 5:30 p.m. and 8:30 p.m. I set two alarms and pump at 12:00 a.m. and 4:00 a.m. and the next day starts all over again. It works out really well helping me adjust to the babies schedules. I will only need to add one feeding during the night and alter the times slightly when they get home.

Babies age 0 weeks- Life in the NICU

The NICU is not as scary as I first thought it might be. It was awkward when I arrived for the first time but I quickly adjusted to the daily protocol. On Sunday after delivery the babies where put on CPAP. They were needing a slight bit of assistance to breathe which is completely normal and expected with preemies born at 33 weeks gestation. We visited them that evening and it was hard to really see their faces with the oxygen masks and the CPAP which pushes fluid out of their lungs causing bubbles to form around their mouths.

Kelsey on CPAP and Oxygen

Skin to Skin with Kelsey and my first time holding her

By the time we visited the next morning they had been taken off the CPAP and oxygen masks. It was the start of our ever changing and steadily advancing babies! I was also able to finally hold both babies. I stripped down and held them skin to skin and it was just amazing! There are many benefits to holding your baby with both bare skin and I certainly have no problem with it :) I was finally feeling like I had given birth. I also delivered very small vials of colostrum (early milk) that I had hand expressed. There was only a drop or two in each vial but the nurse showed me how they swab their mouths with it to give them the antibodies it provides. We are allowed to visit whenever we want and we can bring guests whenever as well. Austin unfortunately has not met his brother and sister yet because sibling have to be age 5 to come into the NICU and non-siblings must be age 14.

Logan during his first bath

Kelsey during her first bath

On Tuesday the babies were taken off their feeding tubes and I was able to nurse both babies which would help tremendously with my milk to come in. Both babies latched on with their first try and life was good. I didn't have nearly as much luck nursing Austin but the last couple weeks of my pregnancy I had been dreaming at night about breast feeding so I just KNEW it was going to go much better this time around. In addition, I really knew what I was doing this time and that makes a HUGE difference. Paul also was able to feed Kelsey a bottle of formula that evening. He still hadn't held them yet but this was a good first step.

Paul feeding Kelsey

Collage by our NICU nurses

 Wednesday on day 3 my milk came in and I spend the entire day nursing them at each feed to get my production up! They are on a rotating feeding schedule Kelsey receives feeds at 8-11-2-5-8-11-2-5 and Logan receives his feeding as 9-12-3-6-9-12-3-6. This allows me and the nurse to feed each baby and then have a nice amount of down time between while they sleep.

Thursday their IV's and their quantities of milk at each feeding were upped to compensate for the fluid they were receiving through their IV's. Each day it increases by 5 ml to promote weight gain. It is pretty crazy how much milk I will need to supply. Just as I think I am producing enough then the next day it increases and I fall behind again. It will be a constant process of nursing, pumping and supplementing with formula. Because this was my last day in the hospital before being discharged that evening, I again spent the whole day with them cuddling and nursing. I went down at 11 changed, fed and cuddled with Kelsey and then Logan at 12. I then returned to my room for lunch between 1-2 and then went down and did it over again returning to my room from 4-5 and back down. After Logans feed at 6, Paul and I packed up and I was discharged at 7:30pm.

I sobbed the entire way home and a lot that evening. It was the hardest thing that I ever did. I just wasn't sure how I was going to come to grips with the fact that our babies were not home with us. It was a pretty aweful evening and I stayed pretty quiet and depressed. I showered when I got home which helped a lot to unwind and I set up my pumping schedule which included setting my alarm for one early morning pump at 4:00a.m. which coinsides with my medication dose of oxycodone and motrin.

Friday, Sarah (Paul's sister) came to assist me for the day to make sure I was taking it easy. She dropped me off at the hospital at 10:45. I nursed and supplemented Kelsey and Logan, changed and cuddled with them. I also dropped off the milk that I had pumped since being home and then she picked me up at 1:00. It was wonderful to be with my babies and I found out that this is a very nice schedule that works well to visit each day. The babies were also in clothes when I arrived today as they are slowly getting ready to be put in open air cribs. We also decided that Paul will visit once a day in the evening as well so he can bottle feed one or both babies and spend his time bonding with them. This day also marked when the babies stopped losing weight and officially started gaining weight back Yay!

Their first photo shoot

Their first photo together!

Saturday the nurse went over all the things that the babies need to accomplish to be able to go home.
1. They must continue to gain weight and stay above 4 lbs as a minimum
2. They must maintain their body temperature in an open air crib for at least 24 hours
3. They must receive all feedings from a bottle or breast NO feeding tube for at least 48 hours.
4. They must have no spells ( forgetting to breathe) for a minimum of 5 days straight.
5. Car seat test. Able to sit in the car seat for 90 minutes with no drop in temperature, heart rate or spells and hold their heads safely.
In the meantime there is a small checklist of things for us as parents to do and learn while the babies are in NICU such as, kangaroo care(skin on skin) change diapers, take temperatures, observe bath time, weigh the babies, learn infant CPR, nurse and feed babies bottles and change babies clothes.
Today marked the day that I first held both babies at the same time. Wow, was that a moment of realization. I hadn't really wrapped my head around the concept that I had two babies to tend to. With their NICU schedules, I am always just one on one with them. The nurses say that they almost always stay on this schedule when they go home. Well, I must say that is definitely one perk to NICU. They are very manageable with their back to back feedings and a very nice break in between. My brother Ryan and girlfriend LeAnn came to meet the babies this evening and they got quite a show during the care hour because it was weighing and bath time so the babies were awake and perky!

Mommy holding both babies for the very first time

Can you tell we are twins??

Sunday my mom and I went in and she got to spend some time with the babies and took some new photos of them. She has chosen to not hold them yet because she has a case of Poison Oak and we are taking precautions. Paul also went in to feed and cuddle with Logan since he spent the last couple nights with Kelsey.

And our last update for this post! Our babies are officially a week old today and their  current conditions are this. Kelsey is gaining weight, she maintains her temperature well, she is slightly jaundice but needs no intervention, she still has a feeding tube because she sometimes doesn't finish feeds and needs it directly inserted into her stomach. She has spells but usually comes out of them on her own and only sometimes needs assistance. Logan is gaining weight, he maintains his temperature okay but does cool down during feeds if not wrapped up. He eats all meals and is our little piggy. He is slightly jaundice but even less than Kelsey. He has started getting spells as well.

Week 33 Real Labor and Delivery

Just when I was getting used to life in the hospital and I was upgraded to a larger more pleasant room, things went bananas! I had an amazing nights sleep in my quiet new room and I had been taken off the check every 4 hours list. I woke on Sunday morning with lots of cramping and back pain. Hmmmm, I kinda recognize that back pain! It was the same I had while in labor with Austin. At about 7 a.m. I started to notice contractions and informed the nurse that I needed to hydrate and see what happens. About an hour later the contractions became more frequent and by two hours later the Doctor came in to check me. She warned me that if I was over 3 cm we were going to prep for c-section. Well, at that time I was still only 3 cm but my contractions were regular enough that I was given one dose of meds to try and stop the labor also a new IV was inserted to speed the hydrationation process. It was time to wait and see what happens.

The contractions kept coming with a series of noticeable steps. First my back would cramp, then I would feel a shortness of breath then my cervix and uterus would tighten. Yep, I was in real labor and the drugs were unable to stop my progress. By now, I had called my mom to get on the road and meet Paul at the house so she could be with Austin and he could be with me at the hospital. Laura had arrived at the hospital to accompany me in the c-section if we needed. Right when everyone got where they needed to be the doctor checked me and I was nearly 4 cm. It was GO TIME! I was casually prepped for surgery. The anesthesiologist gave me all kinds of anti-nausea meds. Laura and Paul packed up my room to take everything to my postpartum room, Laura got dressed in her scrubs and they wheeled me to the Operating Room. I had a spinal block inserted and before you know it I was numb and waiting for the babies. C-section by the way is just AWFUL! I really hated it. I felt like like I was being tickled to death when they cleaned my skin and the tugging feeling was so awkward I wanted to scream. The pressure was just unforgetable. Luckily, soon enough Kelsey Rea(Paul's grandmothers maiden name)was delivered weighing 4 pounds 15.8 ounces (only half an ounce shy of 5 pounds) at 2:59pm and within the same minute Logan Rylan(a combination of my brothers names Ryan and Dylan) arrived weighing 4 pounds 5 ounces. The doctor put him up over the screen to say hi! He was sooooo tiny. I swear the only reason I was able to make it through the surgery was because I could hear my babies crying their lungs out. Laura took some quick pictures of them and they both said hi to me all bundled up before they were rushed off to NICU for observation.

Kelsey and Mommy 

Logan after birth

My surgery ended with the doctor tying my tubes which will make it very unlikely to have anymore children. Three is definitely enough, 4 children scares me and with a possible chance of twins again, 5 children is really scary hahaha! I then enjoyed the recovery. Anything was better than that surgery! I made phone calls and texts surprising many friends because I was perfectly coherant, alert and upbeat. About an hour and a half in recovery and they wheeled me to the NICU to see our babies before heading to my postpartum room. They were so tiny and so precious.

I spent the evening adjusting to the slow process of coming down off the IV drugs and onto Percoset and motrin. Paul spent the night with me for the first and only time during my entire stay in the hospital. It was the only night I felt uncomfortable being alone because I could not function on my own. I did have my first catheter ever and I have to say it was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be and it was nice to not get out of bed to pee :)
I had a very painless night, rather dizzy but comfortable. I started pumping to urge my milk to start as soon as possible and got up twice during the night. In the morning I was accessed and all was well. My catheter and IV were removed. I got out of bed and ate a nice breakfast.

I am working on the next post which will focus on the babies first week in NICU!