A life worth celebrating!!

It has been so incredibly long since I last made a blog post, over a year actually! Life's been busy and the time has just disappeared. But, I am going through some real heartbreak that I want start to heal from. I know it will never go away but talking about it and reminding myself how incredibly lucky I have been to have such a person in my life is really helping. Anyone reading this who knows me, is already aware that a little over a week ago, I lost my grandma on her 87th birthday. She meant the world to me. I had the privilege of doing her Eulogy at the funeral mass where I was able to share with our community so many of the wonderful things that made her the perfect grandma. I have decided that I would like to share the (extended version, I shortened it up for time restraints) of my Eulogy here as well for others to read the story I shared.

On her 50^th birthday, my grandma made a wish, she asked for a grandchild. Shortly after making that wish she not only received one but three healthy grandchildren in a month’s time. 

From the moment we met in that packed hospital waiting room, Grandma and I have been kindred spirits.

As a child, Kate and I spent many hours dressing up in her and Aunt Rosie’s first communion dresses and veils and walking around in her countless pairs of high-heeled shoes. One special pair of those shoes are her 63 year old wedding heels, that myself, Kate and LeAnn have all worn on our wedding days.

My grandma’s favorite place to be besides church, was her kitchen. She never cooked a bad meal, although she often critiqued herself but none of us noticed the mistakes at our weekly Sunday dinners. She was especially talented at baking. We all bonded over stuffing cabbage leaves with venison, stewing tomatoes for ketchup, cracking eggs for mayonnaise, adding cream holes to kuchens, rolling out crust for pies and sprinkling colored sugar crystals onto her perfectly fluffy and white frosted cut-outs. She then would reward any helpers with peppermints, mint chocolate chip ice cream, endless jars of maraschino cherries and pickles from her fridge. 

As I grew, I eagerly volunteered for new jobs helping her decorate the Christmas tree, wrapping presents and typing her annual Christmas letter. There was never a lack of time spent with her, I was her shadow, her mini me, her munchkin watching every meticulously organized move she made, soaking up every ounce of her many talents.

In Junior High and high school, I spent most Saturday nights with my grandparents, eating dinner, watching Walker, Texas Ranger and Doctor Quinn Medicine Woman. I woke on Sunday morning before church to the smell of cream of wheat with brown sugar and butter on top, still my favorite breakfast. Those memories in high school with them, are some of my best. Both grandma and Dubby supported me at my highest and lowest points. It was an unsettling time in my adolescence when I struggled with debilitating migraines and overwhelming panic attacks. My grandma was always there with open arms, a warm hug, a shoulder to cry on and words of encouragement. She was my backbone for so many years when I was scared to share my anxiety secrets and who I turned to when I needed advice.

She really was involved with every aspect of my life from taking me to my first movie in a theater- Cinderella, to coming along for my first hair perm and even an occasional match making. She encouraged a close friends son to ask me to our freshman homecoming dance. She was not only active in my life but my brothers and cousins too, attending our first sacraments, sporting events, dance recitals and EVERY college graduation. When I was unsure of my future, she was adamant, maybe even a little forceful that I attend Miami University. She had a way with making people choose what she felt was best, and years later, I learned that she had convinced my high school principal to call and make a verbal recommendation to ensure my college acceptance.

After college we continued to share many dinners together discussing the many details of life,  especially when she found out I was having twins. She had endured the heartbreaking loss of her infant son, John Frederick Keller, and I know that memory plagued her when the several babies in our family spent time in the NICU. But through it all, she remained a pillar of strength and beacon of light during that very trying time. I know her endless prayers and support helped each of us. It was always my passion in life to be a mother and how could you blame me when I had a grandmother such as her. She was the perfect role model in every possible way and I strive to be just like her.

She taught us all, family, neighbors, strangers and friends to be loving, compassionate, generous, thankful, respectful, kind, responsible, and loyal. She made everyone that surrounded her feel special, from birthday cards, to flowers for special occasions, and small tokens of her gratitude. She built the foundation of our rock solid family and leaves behind a legacy of people who all possess characteristics of her servant’s heart. She was a giver. She constantly shared her talents and donated her time to our community. She never asked for anything in return except that maybe we take a family photo every chance we get. I’ve started to wonder if subconsciously she led me to become the photographer I am today. Ensuring that once again she would get her way one way or another.

She lived a story book life with many splendors and great hardships along the way. Her last day with us was one of greatness. She received phone calls, texts, flowers and gifts. She enjoyed her final birthday meal with family and heard the good news that her 7^th great grandchild had arrived home from the NICU. She went to meet Jesus surrounded by loved ones. If we could all be so lucky. I find it hard to be sad when I know she lived and loved life to the fullest and is well deserving of her heavenly home. So no matter if you called her Mrs. Keller, Margaret, Mom, Grandma, Gigi or the Kuchenlady. I know that she positively impacted each and every one of you. So today may be goodbye but she lives on through us all. I love you grandma and I’m so proud of you!

(END)

For month's prior to her passing, I had an overwhelming feeling that she wanted to me to be the one to offer up these last words to her. I had been pondering in my head what I would plan to say that would be worthy of her outstanding life. When it came time to write these words, I found it so easy to list all of her amazing qualities. Many, many times last week, I fell to my knees in pure sorrow and wept. Each time that I did this, our daughter Kelsey would be the one to console me, she would hug me and tell me, "Mommy, I am sorry you are sad." When it came time to read her Eulogy at church, I chose Kelsey to be the one to stand with me to keep me strong and from sobbing. She is my new backbone. I was able to keep my composure and Kelsey even offered up some comic relief, professing during the Eulogy to the whole congregation that she, "needed to pee!" She made everyone at mass chuckle just when I was about to break down. 

I am so very thankful for every person who shared a story, card, flowers, condolence or hug at her showing and funeral. Thank you so much for your overwhelming support and it warmed my heart to see how many people loved her just as I!